30 signs your kid is turning into a hipster
1. They start wearing sunglasses inside.
2. On Saturday mornings you find them watching Inspector Gadget episodes on VHS.
3. They seek out local hand-crafted artisan root beer.
4. The origin of the cacao bean in their chocolate bar is of the utmost importance.
5. They’ll only drink milk out of jars.
6. When you bring home new clothes they ask if the cotton weaver was paid a fair wage.
7. If you offer them a chicken nugget they act like you are trying to poison them.
8. They want to meet their friends at thrift stores.
9. Their temporary tattoo collection is epic.
10. Dogs are too mainstream, so they ask for a pet chicken.
11. The only character toy they own is a vintage She-Ra doll.
12. Suddenly they hate their rainbow loom.
13. Their skinny jeans are two sizes too small on purpose.
14. You overhear them say to their friends, “I watched Pixar shorts before Disney acquired them.”
15. They ask for extra allowance to cover their green juice addiction.
16. All the words to that Frozen song they were singing last month have slipped their mind.
17. They are taking banjo lessons from that old guy in the park.
18. Their favorite T-shirt has Bill Murray’s face on it.
19. They start requesting obscure French cartoons for family movie night.
20. Somehow they acquired their own sourdough starter and plan to open their own pop-up bread stand in their friend’s garage.
21. Suddenly they seem to know everything. Like, really know everything.
22. You hear them name dropping on the playground.
23. They only listen to bands they found on Vimeo you’ve probably never heard of.
24. It starts taking them an hour to get ready because they need to make their hair look like they don’t care how it looks.
25. They’ve taken up whittling.
26. They open an Instagram account that has more followers than you, like @UrbanMoonRocket
27. They gave all the wrong answers on their eye test on purpose so they could get ugly glasses.
28. In the middle of the night they turned their two-wheeler into a “fixie”.
29. After school one day they say, “I am being confined by the boundaries of traditional education.”
30. When you ask them what they want to be when they grow up they say, “I want to be a creative type. Maybe live off the grid and spend time with my three legged cat and eat kale from my organic garden.”